Friday, November 11, 2005
Not Seeing, Not Feeling
This morning, I thought I was gonna be blogging about depressing stuffs. What a morning it had been. Saw something and I was just sad (envious + jealous, to be more precise). Simply put, in a state of crisis. I knew that was what I would feel when I saw it and yet I was still searching for it so that I could see it. So I turned to Ayu, being the only person around. She tried advice/scolding and I couldn't say I felt better but I fully understood her words and so I stopped being miserable so that I wouldn't waste her time. On and on, I could go telling you all the details of this stupid feeling that I have (I'm still feeling it, by the way). But...
...there was lunch. Not hoping. Seriously and honestly, I was not hoping for anything but...there he was
. It was just one of those things that happen to me with him (if such could be said), my eyes would just suddenly look somewhere and there he would be (This must sound so romantic, isn't it? Let's just agree that it sounds silly). So I let this girl next to me know his existence but we weren't near so she couldn't see much. However she said the nicest thing when I told her the story. She said something like it's so fated the so-many times I saw him. I hope people will think so also, especially him. I'm not stalking! No, I am not. It's just, I see you, that's all. God, let him see me.
:) eKa @ 5:18:00 PM •