Lebaran

Wrote a post with the same title last year. Hhmm...thinking why I like to remove the subject from a sentence when the subject is me. Anyway, this holiday came around again, without much fuss. Well, no fuss because it's Singapore, totally a different story if it's Indonesia. Basically I spent the holidays (holidays sound like christmas ) doing nothing. Most of the time, I spent it horizontally rather than vertically, do you get what I mean? Talked to mom a lot, well not literally but through sms. My mom has gone to new heights, people. She sent me a picture message yesterday. I'm amazed that she could do that. Maybe one of these days she might be able to take picture using a camera phone and send mms. I highly doubt it though. She wouldn't spend so much money to buy that kinda phone. Okay basically nothing interesting happened in the long weekend but here you go:

Realized that I am anti-social (actually I know this since a long long time ago), really don't like socializing. Yes, I do realize that I am rude, I'm sorry, just didn't want to fake a smile and wished I was somewhere else.

Discovered Pablo Neruda on Saturday (managed to go to Borders and Kinokuniya). He was the poet in the movie Il Postino and yes Josh Groban did sing the song for the movie. So now I truly regret not watching the movie the other time.

Heart-broken 'cause my computer is freaking slow. There's this something which eats up the memory (which by the way is not big) and slow down my poor darling. Can not seem to stop it 'cause the damn thing will just restart itself. Trying to find solution, really hope that I can find a good cure. I'm just sick of it which makes me realize how I want a better and faster computer. But as long as my faithful laptop is alive (and I'm not hoping it would die soon), nothing will make me get a new one. See how loyal I am 'Till death do us part, my dear

Wondered why Mr.Hahn is so fat now Hhmm...he's no more chubby, he's fat. Well, I supposed he does have more money now. Is it really true? When you have more money, you'll become fatter? Haha I guess not actually, 'cause you can go for liposuction Anyway, as long as you are healthy, a little weight is okay but being fat does have its problem. Hmm...wish I can tell Mr.Hahn to go for a diet Okay, I am fussy and annoying.

Missed me mom a lot. I guess I am just so...so...so lost? Hhmm...was planning to tell you the whole dealio ("curhat") but I decided not to. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I keep on analyzing myself and...well I just feel like one of Pink's song, "Don't let me get me". Is it true that I'm out of place? I truly hope so, I hope it's true and I'm just in a "waiting" period to go to "my place". But what if, this is it? Damn, I'll be more depressed. I know everything is just about how you look at things and I should change my mind set, but I just like to think that everything is just wrong. I want to have that hope that everything will be better for me later. Isn't it much better like that rather than trying to conform with this f**ked up situation? I so want to say the F word now but a guy friend once asked me not to use it and he's even not a really decent guy and yet he tries to be polite. I think he just thinks that girls should be more "civilized"

Just realized that I sign my post :) eKa @ time. Such an over-statement. I hope you don't think that I'm all smiley. I'm all darkness...

:) eKa @ 1:36:00 PM •

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