Monday, October 04, 2004

Night Creature

I haven't been touching Java for more than a year and recently I was given the chance to work on something using java. It is very weird of me to take the project but somehow I felt so challenged and so interested and anxious. I simply just want to do it. I'm terribly nuts, aren't I? The truth is I felt somewhat guilty in taking the project because it is kinda wrong to take it (well, there's no "kinda", it's just it). However after doing it, I have or I think I am beginning to sincerely move away from my original reason of taking the project in the first place. Don't get what I am trying to say? Never mind In the end I am happy that I managed to deliver I finished something and that thing actually works. Me!!! Who cried after a lab session in my first semester in NUS, because just like the previous weeks I couldn't get anything compiled Those were devastating days, my friends. I think I'm getting better, although still far below of the skill level that I should be having now I think I have that determination to work my ass off to make something work. Maybe I didn't try hard enough back then, but like I had said before I wasn't really me back in those early days .

Didn't have much time to do the java thing on weekdays (because I wanted to play) So I burnt my weekend to do it all. Started off from Saturday, and I ended sleeping at 4 am on Sunday morning. I'm not complaining, because I've been wanting to go back to this lifestyle. Music in my ears, working late into the morning, and as much as it was painful and tiring, when you see that your program actually compiled successfully and run and get the result that you want ... My goodness!!! That feels like seeing light at the end of a dark tunnel. The feeling was just superb. I guess that's why I can not stop, because after 1 part is working, then I just want to work on the next part, it's like fuel that keep your spirit going I'm sorry for being so poetic Sunday, I woke up at 08:30 am, so that was about 4 hours sleep. Work on the thing again and took a nap in the afternoon. I actually didn't sleep quite well, I guess my body just got a shock from the sudden change. I had a strange dream in my nap, I met an old friend who wasn't really close to me. In my dream, she was so nice and friendly, no surprise actually because she is. I woke up, had my dinner, thinking I don't really have much time but I ended up still scrubbing my bathroom, and after Gilmore Girls, I worked on the project again. At 11 ++ pm, all the things were done and functioning. I cleaned up all the mess in the codes. At 12++ I was lying in my bed, but I couldn't sleep. My body just didn't understand that I need to sleep. I think in the end I slept at 1 am. So I'm a tare panda now, with dark area under my eyes Anyway, again no complain. I am proud that I managed to finish it all in 2 days. I want to thank God for the strength and the help, couldn't have done anything without You. I am okay now, ready to take more challenges (I guess) but I still don't want to be a programmer. I just can't see me doing it for a long time, under deadline, under other people's term and condition. I want to it under my terms, under my time, which perhaps be more like midnight By the way, I just found out that you can actually do java coding using Dreamweaver. I wasted my breathe and tortured my eyes doing it using wordpad There were no color coding and no line numbering. When your code is very long, it's just damn tough man Alrighty, take care ya' all ... cheerio

:) eKa @ 3:45:00 PM •