Sunday, August 08, 2004

08/08/03 - 08/08/04

8^th August 2003 was perhaps one of the life-changing days of my life. If there's such thing as an independence day for myself then I would choose 8^th August for that, not the day I got my ID card, not even the day when I left for Singapore 4 years ago. What happened was, on the Monday of 8^th August last year, I felt so deserted. I truly think that the people who were involved will still argue that I was never deserted. Whatever! It was upsetting, I ended up going home on the weekend of that week. I just wanted to runaway. Anyway, on August 8, 2003, before I went home I did some things for the first time in my life. Some normal things that are most probably not a big deal for lots of people, but it was a big deal for me. It totally brought the meaning of being alone and by myself to a whole new different meaning for me. If something can be said as the point when I was changing (if I am changing) then it was that day and all the reasons behind it. The reasons were sad but I'm glad that day happened. It made me a better person and a free person, in a way. In a way it perhaps make me less tolerant towards people who try to put me down and say that the things that I think, want, and do are unproper and such. Crap! I don't need it, okay. I have every right to do the things that I want. You don't like it, fine! No more biting my tongue and keeping the insult inside. Bye...Bye...You will always face that kind of people. I'm facing one these days, but you know, screw it! It's not like they ever do any good with what they say, they're a waste of time. The people who matters most will always like you for all the antics that you have. My mom and dad are okay with me even with my crazy stuffs. They give me their fullest support. My aunt is funky enough to understand what I like and don't like and be okay with that. My bestfriends are each different character that accepts the different way we look and do things in our lives. They don't make me do things by saying that it what I should do or because it was what proper. Instead they are showing that that's what they would do and it could be a good option too for me too.

Hhmm...This post seem very emotional and somewhat cruel but I had been so sad for a long time. I'm getting better now, but like I told you I'm still facing a person who ... *sigH* I better control my tongue or I will curse like hell. I guess I have always been upset with the stupid things that people say or do. Not saying that and keeping it inside and thinking it's my fault for not being patience and understanding enough is not really healthy. Sometime you just need to shout it out. I sometime wonder how people can easily tell bad things about other people when they're angry. I don't recall that I have ever told other people that the person who made me upset is a bitch or a jerk, but you know, you gotta let it out sometime, because sometime things don't slide away. When they don't, you'll get sick, really...

Okay on the interesting side. I went for Rag Rush on Friday evening. Vivy asked me if I would be interested, I said why not? I couldn't go to NUS on Rag day yesterday, so it was my only chance to see the float. The static display were really nice. I really like the picture frames. I guess static display in Kent Ridge Hall Rag is getting bigger and bigger each year, taking a life of its own. The side props were beautiful and neat. The float was neat, very neat. There were not much of a rush, so I didn't do anything actually But the raggers did look busy. I wanted to see the rehearsal but it was scheduled at 10:30 pm so I couldn't Met several people, talked to Donikon, Niko, LeeHua a bit. There were Burger too; man! he physically changed a lot, I hardly recognized him. I was thinking who was this guy playing with my chair, but I guess it's a good change for him. There were Pierre too and some other Rag super seniors. It amazed me how people would always come back for Rag Rush and Rag Day. I guess once you're a ragger it kinda stay in you. I got the result from Vivy yesterday. Kent Ridge didn't win much. They won the Least-Cost Float Award. I guess at least they won something Well...there are always next year, maybe at that time the judges will be bored with Temasek Hall It was really good to meet people my age on Friday. I've been hanging out with people older and younger than me, so I kinda miss hanging with people in their twenties.

So tired, I am so tired. I don't really know why. I just don't think that I have much energy. Watched 1 jam bersama Sheila on 7 yesterday, I love them Tomorrow is public holiday but I don't think I will get much rest. If I don't, I tell you why tomorrow. ciao!

:) eKa @ 8:22:00 PM •