Blame Not on Others for Our Own Anger and Disappointment

I read this sentence in one of my friend's online journal, Vivy to be exact. The full sentence is: "Blame not on others for our own anger and disappointment, as it's just our own deluded mind making it up."
I keep on reciting this line, because I was feeling very...well, very disappointed, I guess. I think I have a mild characteristic deep down inside me, somewhere there :P I don't think that it's easy to make me upset, it would take labour of misconducts towards me to make me finally angry. When it happens, I freeze. I would just freeze and wouldn't say a thing. An iceberg I am. Some friends actually pulled their nerves and said that I am scary when I freeze :D Honestly, I kinda feel a bit glad. I know!!! I am bad!!! But, I just feel some kind of satisfaction that people can actually be scared of me :P Hahaha...Eka...Eka, you shouldn't nurture falsity!

Anyway, today, I was disappointed not because of what someone did to me, but because of what they didn't do to me. It really hurts (for me at least, maybe not for you if you're in my situation) that I feel my chest hurt. I guess it started here in Singapore, on my most stressful and saddest moment (for whatever reason it is), my heart would actually hurt and breathing become a bit uncomfortable. So you see the magnitude of what happened to me today, that was what I was feeling.

So I recite that line over and over again. People just simply have the right to do whatever they want to do. *sigh* After putting this into my diary (of course with complete detail) and writing here, I actually feel a bit lighter. That's what I like about writing...that's my channel to let my feeling out.

...sudahlah Eka...sudahlah...biarlah...biar...

:) eKa @ 9:22:00 PM •

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