Friday, September 18, 2020
I was thinking some days ago if 2020 will have the most number of deaths compared to the past years. The thought came when my mom was telling me of an unexpected death of a toddler that my parents know. She was speaking fondly of this kid who would give them sweets. In the past years, we have had our disasters; there's wars, refugees crisis, tsunami, earthquakes, and so many other issues, but this year with covid-19 causing life to be different, well life just feels different. You see the number of covid cases and deaths and when that number doesn't include someone you know, it's pretty much just a number, but then when you found out someone you know died because of it, it was truly sobering. That's what happened to me this week. I found out someone I know got it and I was like gosh! I heard he was in ICU on ventilator and I told mum that it's traumatizing for us. Then an early morning text from mom told me that he had passed away. It's really sad and heartbreaking. Any deaths due to whatever cause will be hard to deal with and heartbreaking, but when I think about covid patients, I just feel it's really really sad. It starts with you gettting separated from your family or loved ones when you enter the hospital and the process is very fast, once you're in, you just have to say goodbye and hope it's not for long. Can you imagine what that goodbye is like, no hugs, no last touch, no chance to physically see people that you perhaps really want to see. Then if you get worse, you spend your last few days away from from anyone you know and then the burial will be done fast too. When I think about this person I know and his family, I just feel so sad, so sad. As mom said, we may think we have it hard, but there are others who have it harder and after having to deal with my dad dying this year, I guess I just feel so much more about death, the process of it, and I feel really sad for this family. The usual Indonesians, we just have to lean in to God, but traumatizing things like this can really shake your faith. My cousin was telling me that when she hears the ambulance sound now, she feels stressed out. Without we knowing it, some things are slowly traumatizing us.This was not the post that I thought I would write, but there it is. 2020 is ruthless. I've also been thinking that I've been saying 2020; as if when 2020 ends, things would magically get better. What if it doesn't? What if things will just stay this way, awful? Yes, my default mode of despair and pessimism are really not fun to be around with. I'm sorry.
The post I was planning to write was that I finished reading Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien. Somehow I don't think I was fully there when I read this book. I didn't get the connections between characters right away even though they are mentioned explicitly. I don't know what's with my brain. I didn't particularly like the ending because it's sad. It deals with subjects that I have no knowledge about and now I'm quite interested to know more - the Chinese Great Leap Forward, Cultural Revolution, and the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests. I was 7 when the Tiananmen protest happened and I have no recollection of this whatsoever. I don't recall seeing this on TV. I don't know if it was featured a lot in the news back then in Indonesia. A big part of the book was about people who lived through all the brutal changes from the Great Leap Forward to the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and it was quite fascinating to me. Fascinating may not be the correct word, but I'm sorry I can't think of another word. The trauma one faced when they experienced or witnessed things like struggle sessions or being forcefully sent away to work camps, it is remarkable one survives all that and even more remarkable perhaps to have had hope that things would change during the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and when that hope was brutally dashed too, well I really wonder what do these Chinese who have gone through all that really feel. I am really interested to hear more about the stories of these people, but I don't know if there are really out there, perhaps they are banned? I realize I don't know much about China. Anyways reading the depiction of 1989 Tiananmen Square protests, I can't help thinking about the Hong Kong protest too and how like they really don't stand a chance. China feels like a country which will get its way, no matter how brutal it has to be or how much hurt it has to inflict on its people. It is kinda weird because any country is about its people and if its people wants change, they should be able to make it happen, but again and again we see this is not happening, not just in China. You live with trauma, though they may never fully go away, but overtime maybe they just harden you and allow you to just get up and move on and maybe have hope again.
:) eKa @ 10:44:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, August 17, 2020
I'm finally back to the cinema after 5 months 1 day. How did I recall the exact time I last watched a movie? Well the last time I watched a movie in a cinema was on my birthday and it was Little Women. Then they closed the cinema and then they opened it back to many people's excitement but I guess that was short-lived because we then realized, there are not many new movies out there; the selection was uninspiring.
Then on my way to class one Saturday, I saw the movie poster for Fukushima 50 and I was like, ah I have to watch that then. You see one time in class, we had a chapter about nuclear plant. Then for the homework essay, I wrote that I learn most thing from movies or TV series and I wrote about HBO's Chernobyl which I thought to be very good. At the end of my short essay, I wrote something along the line that the story of the people of Chernobyl was extraordinary and if there's a drama about Fukushima, I would really like to watch it. So since I wrote it, I guess I have to do it.
I'm gonna admit that I don't watch a lot of Japanese movies and one thing that struck me in Fukushima 50 was listening the interaction between the workers in that stressful time - there were a lot of yelling. The english phrase, barking order, was aptly illustrated. It's weird because the Japanese are like very polite and tend to be soft spoken but in that work environment, a lot of people were yelling, and I just felt it's unnecessarily adding to the stress. Also pictured in the movie was how sucky the higher-ups can be. You know how we hate these people who don't know the reality or facts on the ground and just want things done so that they can look good. Everywhere in the world, those people sucks.
Watching the movie made me realize that at the time of the disaster I wasn't aware how scary the situation was. Things could have gotten really really bad. The movie shines the light on the workers there, many of whom were risking their lives but it's good to see it's not as bad as what happened in Chernobyl. That being said, it's still a suicide mission. The title Fukushima 50 actually refers to the 50 workers who stayed to make sure all was okay even after the rest of the workers were evacuated. I get that the movie needs to show what happened in Fukushima from the second the disaster hit, but I would actually love it if the movie highlight these 50 people more because it's unclear from the movie. Only towards the end we saw that only a few people were staying, while the rest were ordered to go. Like I want to know how long these 50 people stayed on. It was a very touching movie especially because from the get go, everyone was like knew that the younger ones would have to be spared from doing the dangerous stuff. So it's up the older workers who were all very brave. One of the main character was like the manager and he was very nice because he volunteered himself above his workers and everyone was like no, you stay. Of course you want a manager like that right, unfortunately as mentioned in the previous paragraph, many people in higher position often sucks so bad. Some managers would be so ready to throw you under the bus. Anyways, if you have watched HBO's Chernobyl, do watch Fukushima 50. If you haven't, but have time to spare to learn about things, do watch both.
By the way, good God, because of the restriction, getting to the cinema was like being tracked on every level. You have to show your Safe Entry check on getting inside the cinema. Then when you buy the ticket, the staff asks for your name and phone number! This is despite of you already getting tracked by your ID through Safe Entry and then when you are passing the ticket checker to go to the hall, the staff asks you to do a Safe Entry check again specific to the hall you're going into. Things like this make me think of the Americans or people who don't want to wear masks; how will they handle being tracked on every single thing? I wonder if it's the same in other cinemas in Singapore. Inside the cinema hall, I took off my mask. I don't know if the other people who sat distance away from me felt annoyed. I looked to my left, they were still wearing their masks. I think you can eat, I mean they're still selling popcorn, but it seemed no one in the hall with me ate. Anyways, the next movie I'm looking forward to watch is Tenet and I think I do want popcorn then.
:) eKa @ 10:14:00 PM • 0 comments
Thursday, July 30, 2020
Hey guys, my dear vaio is collapsing. It's getting really slow and most sadly now the comma button doesn't work. I don't think it's the hardware issue, but all the non-hardware solutions that I dared to attempt do not work :( so I am quite sad. I can still get comma by going alt + 44, but it is very sad, especially considering I am one who seems to use more comma than necessary. Anyways, my vaio has been with me for around 6.5 years now, so I guess it's kinda time to be replaced, but I kinda want to pass the 7-year mark, because that was how long the one before this lasted. I have illogical preference. The same way I straight away look at what vaios are available currently out there. Performance wise, they are surely better than what I have now, but design wise I really like what I have now. The screen is big, it's touch screen, and it has a separate numeric keypad. The illogical me always stick to the same brand even though they can be more expensive, but this time I may need to bring myself to try other brand. So that is one paragraph about nothing.How has your life been? Have you been to the cinema? The cinemas are open again in Singapore, but I haven't been to one because the selection is limited and nothing appeals to me. I really have nothing interesting to say. Okay, there is something that I do find amusing today. You know how in America during thanksgiving, the president will pardon turkeys. Now in Indonesia, for the past few years during Eid al-Adha, the newspaper (that I read) has been having articles about the cows that the presient bought for the sacrifice. He usually buys several cows in different parts of Indonesia and the meat would be distributed to the people there - so no pardon here. I have to say that the cows really look impressive and the owners are all very proud to be selected.
:) eKa @ 9:25:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Hey guys, how have your "new normal" been? The most jarring thing I encountered when I was finally able to go out and about was that everyone are in masks. It unexpectedly feels quite sad to me. I didn't realize that seeing people's faces would matter to me. The whole coronavirus experience does give you a chance to learn more about yourself. Sometime you only learn that some things matter to you after they are taken from you.Today my class resumed. Well today there's only 2 students including me. It's a make up class for those who didn't attend the online lesson. It was very nice of them to arrange this for us. So anyways, basically today I got to go to Orchard and it was quite crowded. A realization came to me that these are all Singaporeans or people who live here permanently. There's no tourist. Though it was crowded and people are spending money, I do think Singapore would need tourists to sustain the businesses soon and since Indonesians are the second highest visitors to Singapore and have been at the top for many years, I hope they would find a way to make it easier and not expensive for Indonesians to come. Anyways, it was my first time being in Orchard with the new entry restriction imposed everywhere and I was quite confused about finding my way. I don't particularly like Safe Entry. It's where we have to scan QR code and enter our ID and show it to people guarding the entrance to be let in. I don't like it because it basically tracks us no matter what they say about the record being safe and going to be deleted and all. I don't find it user friendly as well. Like today I checked in in Wheelock but I didn't see a border between Wheelock and Ion that I didn't check out from Wheelock, instead I checked out from Ion despite of never having checked in there.
Singapore can really just enforce rules and people would follow without any protest. You look at America where there are people who protest about having to wear masks, can you imagine how they will take it if they have to be tracked when they enter basically every single place? And in Indonesia, just the other day I told my mom and brother, it's like Indonesia has given up. Whatever will be will be, people will just do what they want. Rules in Indonesia are like aspirations --> Did I use the word aspiration correctly? I guess like in many places everywhere, many Indonesians can only hope and pray that it will all work out. Different people do have different reaction about coronavirus, it's like a scale from the ones who don't want to touch anything to the ones who are pretty much carefree.
Anyways, as the title says, I finished reading the (officially) first book of the year, The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates. It took awhile finishing this book because, well you know. The book tells a story of a slave, Hiram, who had the power to (for a lack of a better word) teleport. In order to do that reliably, he had to lean on his memory and the stronger and more personal the memory was, the better. Though he had a photographic memory, he couldn't remember what happened to his mother when he was young and that was the memory he needed to tap to use his power effectively. After finishing the book, I think I have mix feeling about it. It was nicely written, but the "science fiction" aspect of it doesn't sit quite well for me. The book featured Harriet Tubman and it implied that she had the same power hence she was able to help slaves get their freedom. I don't know. Maybe deep down I have become way too cynical to believe in magic? I know it's just a story, but I don't know. So mix feeling in the end.
Now I am reading Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien just because the title is so apt as a response to the hopeless feeling and or negativity that I may feel about life. Life hasn't fully returned to the way it was before, but all the anxiety has come back roaringly unstoppably - it's back to not being able to sleep, the weird health issues happening all around. I'm just trying to hold on here.
:) eKa @ 9:32:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, May 30, 2020
When I thought about finally writing this post, I thought about how much I should write and I come to the realization that I cannot be that open. Partly because some things are very personal and some things will get people to judging and I'm not here for that. So what happened?I went home on April 8th. I received the dreaded text which I have played in my mind before. Just because I had imagined it, it doesn't mean I was prepared. I was told that my father fell and he was rushed to the hospital. This shows the true nature of me and mom. The pessimistic me went to the worst and immediately it's like my body went cold. When my mom heard the news from my brother, she was like okay, good he's in the hospital. Dad was then rushed to the ICU and mom thought he'd stay there for 2-3 days and he'd be out. It didn't turn out that way. Back to me, I asked the family if I should go home, they said yes if you can and so I went home. It's lucky there's still a daily Garuda flight to Jakarta and it was in the afternoon and I made it. It was the fastest I've been in buying a ticket and flying out. The airport was empty but there were still quite a number of passengers to Jakarta. A number of shops in the airport were closed but the chocolate shop was open because it's food after all. I was basically not fully there throughout the journey in reaching home. When I arrived the house was empty, so I got keys from my cousin's house and she came to accompany me a while. Then my brother arrived from the hospital to take me there and mom and us waited all night in the ICU waiting room. Then the routine became me and mom going every morning to that ICU waiting room and my brother arriving in the evening to replace us as he waited the whole night. Due to coronavirus restriction, we couldn't see dad. In fact the first time I saw him was around 1 week after I arrived when he was wheeled out for CT scan. The routine happened for 2.5 weeks. We waited there for news, for information, to sign off on procedures, etc. All the while not seeing him in person to see how he's doing. How he's doing was he's doing bad. He was getting worse in fact. He lost consciousness when he fell and he wasn't able to gain meaningful consciousness. Looking back now, a part of me feels a bit silly in that first few days thinking that he just needed a minute and he'd be okay, well as okay as he could be. My brother told me he thought there would be permanent damage but he didn't think it would be this bad.
I would skip the part that happened on Thursday, April 23rd to Sunday night because even now I'm crying thinking about it. 23rd April was perhaps the saddest day in ICU waiting room. As a family, it was the only day in my dad's whole ordeal and the last day that my living father had all the 3 of us in the same room with him. What happened to us that day is very hard and I don't wish it on anyone. I do want to say that my mom has anchored us throughout the whole process and she is the strongest person in the family. So anyways the day was not hard just on us. That day one of the family who just recently joined us in the ICU waiting room lost their husband / dad. Due to coronavirus restriction, they too couldn't see him even though his illness wasn't coronavirus and I think he was alone throughout his last days. The whole family was in distraught and the atmosphere that day was just bad. The story of that family is sad. Mom says we could say that our story is sad but there are others that have a harder time.
So Sunday night, April 26th. It was weird that evening I was very sleepy that I slept quite easily. I think it was the same for my brother too. He called home near midnight to tell us that dad had passed away. He had also called my cousin, so my cousin took me and mom to the hospital. We took dad to the funeral home and mom and my brother took charge in the funeral arrangement. I saw my dad being bathed and clothed. Dad didn't want to be fussy about anything so when we saw the possibility of getting this done fast, we chose that. Not many people came because it was a rush and also because of coronavirus. I think we left for cremation at around noon. Mom didn't go, instead she went with another cousin to the Buddhist temple where we planned to have our dad interred to choose a location and to get an engraved urn to hold the ash. The whole cremation process was a whole new experience. The ashes were separated to 2, his bones remains and the remains of the coffin and the things we put into the coffin. The staff showed us his bones. One piece of his skull was separated and then the other bones were put into a cloth bag and were smashed using a wooden hammer. Then the piece of the skull was put on top of the ash. We didn't have enough time to bring his ash into the temple, so we had to put the ash for safekeeping in the crematorium's Buddhist section for 1 night. Then the 12 of us who went to the crematorium went to take a boat to scatter the other ash into the sea. Then we went home. We reached somewhere around 4 pm so that was quite fast. When I reached home it hit me that dad was not coming home. For the past 2.5 weeks, dad wasn't at home so he was already not there but that day it hit me, he's not going to come back. He's not gonna go chill and sit in front of his TV upstairs. It wasn't the only reminder, like days later when I heard noises during the time he usually got home from work, it reminded me that it's not my dad. He's not gonna come back and walk through the door. I could still cry thinking about it so I try not to think about it.
The next day, my cousin took the 3 of us back to the crematorium to take our dad's ash, put it into the urn, and get him to the temple. Due to restriction during coronavirus, we haven't been back to the temple because it's closed. So I haven't seen my dad again since we left him. So that's it. Right now the family is doing weekly prayers until 49 days, but there are some weeks where there's no prayer. I did 3 but now that I'm back in Singapore, I will be missing the rest of it. I decided to stay longer with the family and so I left later than my original date. It was nice being at home. Being longer at home also allowed me to go to the wake of a grandpa of one of the family who waited for us in the ICU waiting room. They came in one day after us and mom happens to know them. It's been us and the daughter of the grandpa which I simply called tante everyday and we spent the most hours there. Our situations were pretty much the same though the tante has had a tougher 2 months. It's another thing mom says about how other people are having it harder than us. The tante has her faith and family to lean to, but if you know the stories, you will be sad too. There are many sad stories in ICU waiting room. Anyway though their ending was a sad one too, it feels like getting a final ending, a final closure. Dad and grandpa had been pretty much together in their journey and they're finally done.
So now I am back in Singapore. Arrived here on Monday, May 25th. It was the longest I've been at home since maybe 16 years ago? Unfortunately the situation that precipitated it was a sad one. I was the only passengers on my Garuda flight to Singapore, so that was another new experience. The whole experience after arriving was a confusing one for me. I wasn't given information at all about what's going to happen next. Before I departed I filled in the required online form where I needed to put in the address where I expected to do my 14-day stay home notice which I knew I had to do. What I didn't know is that these days you have to do it at government designated hotels and when you leave Singapore after 27 March, you have to pay for the cost. Maybe it's my mistake I didn't know any of this but it would be good if it was explained or iterated to me again by the immigration officers or if any of the readings they gave us state that. All the readings given are about doing stay home notice at our own place of residence. So I was very alarmed when I was put into a car and being driven into the hotel which at that time I didn't know where. I have to stay here until June 8th, 12 pm. Since I have to pay, I would like it if I could have chosen where I have to stay because yesterday when I found out the cost, it's expensive to stay here. Also what else was I supposed to do when I heard the news about my dad, not leave right away? It feels like I'm being punished for attending to my family. No one asks my why I had to leave Singapore at that time. My cousin asked what if people couldn't afford the cost, I don't know. I'm not one who gets over things easily so things like this bother me a lot. In fact there are many things that still bother me and I know the lesson is perhaps to be forgiving and to let go. I know I have to lean on the kindness people show me and be kind and let go all of the shitty things that happen to me, but it's never easy with me. Right now, I'm just looking forward to leave this "house arrest".
:) eKa @ 12:20:00 PM • 0 comments
Saturday, April 18, 2020
There's a due date to be back in Singapore but I don't know if it'll happen and what will happen next.
:) eKa @ 1:50:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, March 30, 2020
Hey guys, how have you been surviving March? Cabin fever came to my head sometime in the middle of March. I know it is kinda whiny of me talking about cabin fever when Singapore is not on lockdown. I mean there are rules here and new rules and restriction seem to be coming all the time, but you could still do many things outside. The streets are not quiet and daily life still feel very normal. I have been spending more time in my room without seeing people, without moving much, and though I have a feeling it lowers down the stress level, there's that cooped up feeling in me. Since I'm not moving much, I make it a point to try to walk around the tiny park nearby on days when I have to be in my room most of the time.Last Friday I did feel sad about coronavirus and I thought that was the first. When they took away cinemas even when the cinema was already leaving empty seats between people, I was kinda sad but was okay. When I found out that most flights to Jakarta are not available until I don't know when, which means I couldn't just go home anytime I want to, I told myself to calm down, it's not like there's a need for me to go home immediately. However, it's just with the difficulty of going out of this country and with many countries imposing their own travel restriction and not accepting people, there's really that trapped feeling. It's like though there's no lockdown in Singapore, I feel stuck here. Hearing news that this would take months to pass and maybe even until the end of the year just adds to the despair and last Friday, I kinda burst a bit. The mall nearest to me, the lifeline with the supermarket and places where I get all my food most of everyday started the crowd control measure. I was tired that Friday evening after a day that got me quite pissed and when I saw the long line to enter the mall, I just got really sad. I was too tired to join the line and so I went to McDonald's which is outside and luckily didn't have a queue to enter. God is kind that He gave me someone to vent to. Saw the McDonald's auntie / staff who had seen me during my stressed out tired time asking for milkshake and now we're quite friendly though we don't know each other's name. I waved at her and chatted a bit and I told her about feeling sad with the whole queue to enter the mall. It did feel kinda good to be given someone to talk to. I ended up going to the mall and supermarket Saturday afternoon. I was a bit worried that the supermarket would have a queue on its own to enter, but there wasn't. The supermarket itself was quite crowded that day I was there, I thought it was kinda ironic that even with all the measures, we could still physically bump into each other. The supermarket also had some empty shelves again on Saturday. I guess people now decided to just buy more to reduce the amount of times they need to go to the supermarket with the new entry restriction happening. I know I'm complaining when my situation can be considered lucky. Being stuck in Singapore is not that bad.
So my Japanese class is suspended for at least a month now and in the last composition homework I submitted, I wrote that coronavirus is our shared experience. I couldn't write it well in Japanese and maybe not in English either as I attempt to do now, but you know, think about it. Right now in this world, in every country, a lot of people are experiencing the same concerns and worries regarding coronavirus. I can't recall a singular thing that causes the population of the world to feel the same thing at the same time. Everyone in this world can say, I get you, I understand, when you talk about concerns and difficulties you are experiencing now due to coronavirus. It also made me think that when Wuhan was experiencing this, we kinda didn't give them much sympathy. It was tough what they went through and to be alone in it with people not really getting it, I'm glad that they're better now. Coronavirus is extraordinary or すごい as I wrote in my homework. In that homework, I also wrote that this is perhaps the universe trying to restore balance.
In one of the CNN videos I watched, the reporter was interviewing this Indonesian student who was in Wuhan throughout. My first thought was like, girl what are you doing there? Why didn't you go home with the rest when Indonesians were evacuated? Anyways, she was asked what she's been doing during the lockdown. At the end of the clip she said, it's like God is clearing all our schedule, that we couldn't do many things, so go and talk to God. She's quite wise and a typical Indonesian with our God talk :D Perhaps God has really been wanting for us to talk to Him more and we've been spinning uncontrollably in our life, so He's sending a plague to get us to stop. Everyone must be praying more now. I do worry about my family back home now that there are a lot of cases in Indonesia. I think many Indonesians have concerns if we can handle this. Mom said that Jakarta is quiet and she's been cutting her working hours. She said she might not even go to work today. I asked how they've been coping being stuck at home, the 3 of them :D I think my mom would be so bored. She said my brother seemed to be showing signs of boredom and restlessness. My dad would be fine as I would be as well. We could just stay at home. When I'm home during break, I very often don't even step outside the house.
The number of new cases happening everyday in Indonesia is worrying, but looking at it against the number of total population, it's still small and if you're comparing city to city like Jakarta to Singapore, the number of new cases in Singapore happening each day could be higher than that in Jakarta. Of course there are that worry that there are many undetected cases, so it's good if people in Jakarta out of abundance of fear prefer to stay at home and limit their time in public. When Indonesia started reporting cases, it was very hard for find official information on it, but now the website is pretty good. It's even better than the Singapore's one I think. There's data organized by provinces and if you're just looking for cases in Jakarta, there's a map showing the number of cases in each area, it's very granular, and there's also a breakdown of age and gender. The official site from the ministry of health also has a hoax buster page which is good but also kinda sad seeing the many purposeful misinformation out there :( There are people putting effort to spread falsehood, it's like what the hell?!? Can't you do better with your life?
Well, I hope you guys are doing well. I don't know what we will see at the end of this. One thing I do hope to see is that from now on people will give at least a 1-metre space when queuing. I love that rule. I think one of the thing many people are looking forward to out of this smack down from the universe is getting our freedom back. Hopefully when we do get out this, we will be wiser and better human being.
:) eKa @ 8:16:00 PM • 0 comments
Friday, February 21, 2020
Hi everyone, how has your February been going? It is a longer one this year with the extra day, but I feel it can feel especially long if you're impacted by the coronavirus. I can say that my life here in Singapore is impacted. There are some things that we have to do now and cannot do anymore for the time being. Some easy things can turn out to be not so easy. I'm supposed to take and record my temperature twice a day everyday, but I haven't been able to really do that because I don't have a thermometer and it's not everyday I'm at places with a temperature check station. I tried to buy thermometer, but there's no thermometer to be bought. Though today finally I got one. 3 stores in the mall and only 1 seems to finally has some stock. As for the other aspect of my life that has been impacted, well I'm not gonna talk about that. So far I am okay, though with how things are going right now, there have been moments where I wonder if that slight rise in body temperature, that one sneeze, that weird feeling in my throat means something or nothing at all. I've somewhat had gone through this before, because I was here during SARS, but a thought did come that the situation now is different for me. During SARS, I was a student living in a hostel. If something was to be wrong for me, I would be rescued, there would be people helping me. Right now I feel like I have to fend for myself which is actually what I have been doing all along, but it's just it's quite nerve wrecking if I should come down with the virus. So it is something to be thankful about that so far I'm okay.The way this coronavirus has spiraled public's reaction especially the one in Singapore was something rather shocking to me. I can't remember if it was the same during SARS. Perhaps because I was in my hostel bubble where meals and things like toilet paper would always be there that I didn't experience or witness the freak-out back then. This time around when I saw the nearest supermarket to me had their shelves empty or almost empty, I was quite shocked. Also shocking that the replenishing of it was not immediate. I remember that it was on a Friday that panic buying happened. Through the power of social media, people back home heard the news and I guess saw the pictures that I had people asking me about it. On Monday when I went to the supermarket, toilet paper and tissue shelves were still empty. It's kinda funny to me that toilet paper is one of the priority for the people here :D
So anyways, I went back to Indonesia for Chinese New Year break on January 24th. The day before I saw quite a number of people wearing masks in public. I remember thinking at that time, what's going on, is it a thing now, why are people panicking? At that time there's no case in Singapore yet. On Chinese New Year, I remembered talking to cousins that by then there were cases in Singapore. However since I'm at home, I didn't know how the reaction was or really cared actually. What I was hoping for was that there would be no case in Indonesia so that by the time I come back to Singapore, I wouldn't get into a hassle. By God's grace, Indonesia still doesn't have any case. I know that there are concerns that Indonesia is not equipped to detect this. I know many Indonesians themselves may feel this, but I think if there's an undetected case, there would be an outbreak right now, like a whole family or neighborhood would get sick, but so far there's no report of that. As our health minister said, with social media and stuff this is something that cannot be hidden. He also said that we should be thanking God for the blessing so far. True that :D
So anyways, my trip home was okay. I did some things like going to see Sukabumi's suspension bridge with the parents, an aunt, and a cousin. I wasn't keen because it was a really early trip. It was a long day, but it's not so bad. I got to eat bubur ayam / Indonesian porridge. The view from the suspension bridge looking down was pretty cool. You only see tree top and foliage, so I'm not sure how high the bridge is. Then we walked to a waterfall which was okay. It wasn't very tall. Walking back from the waterfall it was raining, so that wasn't so fun, but me made it to another bridge which was shorter and back. I do have to say the ticketing in the place didn't make sense to me. We had to pay to enter the compound. I get it if you pay for parking, but paying for each person didn't make sense because we had to pay again for admission to go on the trail to the bridge and waterfall. Granted this second admission ticket also includes snack and coffee or tea, but that first admission for each person to the compound, that should be removed I think.
Other things I did also include going to pray with mom. It's kinda our thing now, something that we try to do every time I get home and I do cherish the opportunity. Then me, my brother, my parents also went to another temple to pray. It was my first time going to that temple which is located in a rich area. Being rich doesn't save that area from being flooded. Though the houses were not affected, but the streets in front of the houses were and we actually had to walk on the flooded street to reach the temple. I kept on saying to mom, isn't it amazing that with all the flooding that's been happening in Jakarta this year, our neighborhood is amazingly safe and dry :D
I also met my best buds. They surprised me by choosing to eat at an Indonesian restaurant called Remboelan which I so love very much because yay Indonesian food! Remboelan is a more classical word for moon in Indonesian and the restaurant used the old spelling to spell it. There were quite a number of people there. There were some foreigners, but the majority were Indonesians which was kinda nice to see because that means Indonesians don't mind paying more for something that they can find easily all around on a cheaper price. The restaurant has a very extensive menu which really makes me wonder how they can ensure it's cost effective. There can be a lot of things going to prepare Indonesian food and to have all the ingredients at ready, I so want to see the kitchen. Food was great, I love all and most of all I got to eat bubur sumsum. I googled this, it seems to be quite easy to make. When I was a child, there used to be a man selling this on his cart, but now it's kinda hard to find this, at least for me. So it was something that I really wanted to eat. Even my cousin was saying that it's like the taste we had during childhood.
All and all it was good to be home and as usual I felt it to be rather short, like I didn't have enough alone time to be with the TV. Being here now, well as the beginning of this post says, it's been a long February. I hope things will get better soon.
:) eKa @ 7:30:00 PM • 0 comments
Monday, January 20, 2020
I finished reading There There by Tommy Orange today. I can't say that I like it a lot which makes me wonder if my taste is just not refined? The book was a finalist for the 2019 Pulitzer Prize and has many rave reviews, like from people who are smarter than me but I'm just not as enthused as all of them. Don't get me wrong, the book does provide some insight into the lives of American Indians in this modern age, something that I really have no knowledge whatsoever and it's always good to learn something new, but overall I'm just not there all the way with the book. I was thinking that perhaps I would have liked this book more if it's longer and gives me a better closure. The next paragraph would have spoiler, so stop reading now if you're planning to read the book.The book tells the stories of several people of Indian descent. All of them had lives filled with struggles and almost of them all were asking or looking inside themselves on what it means to be Indians. They're somewhat related to one another, but the connections weren't revealed to them even in the ending. Towards the end of the book, everyone was in the same place together where a shooting incident occurred. As I was going towards the end, I was thinking would all the cast of characters die in this story? That would be so bad. Well the story doesn't tell us the aftermath. Really the ending leaves me really wanting more :( The shooting with 3D printed guns (which passed through metal detectors) were told from the point of views of the different characters. It was truly harrowing and heartbreaking. You know, people in the US have to live with the reality that gun violence can happen to them anytime anywhere and you want to think that perhaps they would be more prepared, but I guess no one really is. As I was reading the passages, I was thinking that such situation is just beyond my imagination. I would be truly unprepared and wouldn't know what to do. Imagine being hit by stray bullets and dying just like that. It's insane, truly insane. This gun culture of the US is truly something that I cannot wrap my head around.
So next I have 3 books in the queue and I decided I'll be reading The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates first. Another book with many good reviews. Hope I'll enjoy it too. On other news, I'm going home this Friday for Chinese New Year break. Will be spending 1 week plus. I've been having difficulty sleeping, like even more so since last month and I don't know if I would feel better when I'm home. I've been feeling down even more so and I've just been telling God to please help me. This is actually not an encouraging start to the new year and so I hope you guys are doing better. Isn't it crazy that we're finishing January real soon? The way time flies really fast is one of the many things that gets me down. I just want things to stop :|
:) eKa @ 9:58:00 PM • 0 comments
Friday, December 20, 2019
I couldn't make it you guys. By my measurement, I couldn't finish reading 5 books this year. Well I guess I can if I want to rush the current book I'm reading, but since I have other useless stuff to do, I'd rather spread my time doing nothing equally. I had someone asked me how I like to fill my free time and when I said I like watching stuff, the lady was like stunned in the uselessness of it all :D She was like implying I should be doing better things with my time and here I am honestly feeling I actually don't have enough time to do the things I like to do :D Life, it's such a chore.So anyways books read this year:
- The Tattooist of Auschwitz - Heather Morris
- The Luminaries - Eleanor Catton
- Milkman - Anna Burns
- The Overstory - Richard Powers
- An Ice-Cream War - William Boyd
The book was published in the year I was born and when I started it I was a bit worried that the writing would feel Jane Austen old which would make it a difficult read, but it wasn't like that at all. It's easy to read. In the year I was born people couldn't conceive the concept of reality TV, but reading the book at this age gave me that feeling. It felt nice checking in on the different characters and seeing what they're doing. There were things that I would have liked to learn more, like what some characters thought about some things, but they weren't explored. Things like these always make me wonder why and how authors chose to disclose certain events or information. I just have to comfort myself with thinking that it's like life, we don't always get the answer.
So now, I'm reading There There by Tommy Orange. It tells the stories of American Indians in this modern age. Another thing that I don't have much knowledge about. Kinda nice to learn new things, for example I didn't know that there was an occupation of the Alcatraz by some Indians in the 1970s. It now makes sense of the graffiti that I saw there. I think the audio guide didn't mention any of this. It's very ignorant of me to only learn about this 4 years later.
On other subject, how have your end of the year been going? The usual me vacillate from being light due to the holidays to feeling dark due to the fact that the year is ending, a new one is beginning where I'm older and things seem very likely to be going the same way. It's like another year of this?!?! Aarrggh :( This is what all depressed people at this time of the year feel I guess. Anyways, Chinese New Year is early next year. I'm going home so that's one thing to look forward to. I also have a plan on what I want to do next year, but I don't know if I'll get to do it. Courage is what I need. For awhile there's only that one plan which made me think that maybe it's good that you don't have plan B so that you really will make that plan happen and work. However plan B suddenly presented itself as an alternative. Though I haven't fleshed it out, plan B is easier and requires less courage. I don't know, I feel like An Ice-Cream War is like a sign on what I need to do next, but I guess we also have to wait and see how things reveal themselves next year.
:) eKa @ 7:20:00 PM • 0 comments
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